Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
