Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
