I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize