I cannot find my penis.
I have demons in me.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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