Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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