Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
