I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
