$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
