I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
