your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have aggressive nipples.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
