I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
