So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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