Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
