Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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