Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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