return my video game
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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