I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
