i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
