I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
