Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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