i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
