we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
