What did we do last night that was yellow?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
