You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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