If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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