i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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