Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
