Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
