i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
