The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
