her vagine was all disorganized.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize