then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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