end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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