btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
