We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
