At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
