dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
