I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
