I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
They have beer where we have blood.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
