If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
