So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
