You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Sponge bath it is.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
