I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
