I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she pinky promised me she was 18
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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