i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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