I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
