After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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