come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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