I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
