Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
