guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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