Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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