I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
