Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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