Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
