You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
