Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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