oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
