Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
