Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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