FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
