2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
