I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
