Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
