her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I need a beard to bite.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
