I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize