these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
farters have to be the big spoon...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
