Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
