is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
