we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
