Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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